Guilty Pleasure

People know that they will get fat if they eat chocolate a lot. However, they do so because they feel satisfied by chocolate. That’s why people usually drink and smoke. They definitely know this is not good for their health. I also do so because I am not sure whether my life is tough or fine now. I just think that I can stop drinking and smoking if I quit this business, but it seems like just my imagination. 

Actually, I can stop drinking right now. I usually drink because I like meeting people. I sometimes drink alone after moving into this rural area. The number and amount of drinking in South Korea and China is remarkably different. In China, I usually drink once a week because I don’t have any friends and employees who like drinking. However, in terms of smoking, I have never thought of stopping. 

I usually smoke a pack of cigarettes in China and five or ten cigarettes in South Korea. Definitely, my life seems really tough in China… I made lots of plans on January, 2015. I sorted out my thoughts about where our company should be going or how I live my life. The biggest plan of our company in 2015 was 自力更生. 

Personally, I planned to learn AI and Chinese perfectly. Come to think of it, our company was not 自力更生, and I also didn’t learn a lot. This seems that I did nothing in 2015… Even though I always think that I should learn Chinese and AI more, it is not easy to start over. I am looking for a Chinese teacher in this rural area. 

I try to study alone, but I realize that my pronunciation is unclear, and I also feel bored. It is also not easy. I make time for studying Chinese in the daytime in our factory and ask something I don’t know to 멍. However, I have several limits to do so because there are some rules to study. I just hesitate to study even though there is not much time to learn Chinese in earnest. 

I know that my experiences can’t lead me, but I can’t do so… One and two days later, the dust settles on my Chinese and AI text books… I try to learn AI in order to use it simply, not to be a talented designer. I should have learned when I was young because it’s not easy to learn right now. There are only a few days left in this year, 2015. I will set up a new plan for 2016 within a few days. I am also going to reduce ten plans for every year because I have never actually carried out my plans. 

The plan is going to be one or two. Just in case, I will work out a plan for the new year. It might ease my anxiety. I hope I can speak Chinese more perfectly in 2016. For AI, I will learn it in 2017… I really wish our company could rehabilitate ourselves. I think the difficult new year, 2016, will begin.